Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Dick and Jane Do Dating

Ok so here is the sad deal.  When you graduate from college the plethora of men shoots down to nill, especially if you end up living with your parents.

This brings me to the awkward world of blind dating....

So I went on a blind date a couple months ago (I really hope that guy doesn't read this) With a guy I'll call Joe... I'll send a thank you to Brooke for at least trying!

So Joe and I went out for drinks...Mind you I had no clue what he looked like, so I stood there till some stranger came up to me.

Blind Date # 1  


Mistake #1   Me---"Yea I'll add you on FB" "Oh snap! Those billy bob pics with the Cheeto and cigarette are still up..."  = game over before it's even started....

Who is this freak? She's a pretty fun girl that's all I know...
Now all women who have been taught anything know there are several FAUX PAS to never mention on date one...I mean that is if you decide to play by society's rules.

Within 30 minutes I heard about this guys brother's wedding, babies, ALIENS (which scare me), his allergies, politics and religion.
I was given about 10 of his business cards and told to "give him a call sometime" ummm For real? 
So even though this guy was hott and I would've overlooked the whole alien addiction...I mean let's be real we never talked to each other again.

Blind Date # 2 
I don't know if I can honestly say this...it pains me greatly, and kills what little ego I have....but date #2 was from Match.com--GAW it kills me to admit that.... But again I have no shame.  
(Shout out to Jinny Keeton for #2)

I don't have much to say...nice...not too awkward, except for that high five I gave him when he was trying to hold my hand during the movie.  It was normal and generic...except for the fact that I was out $40 at the end...I mean my parents are from the North, but I was born in the South. nuff said.

Have talked to him...but not seen him.

Will the saga continue on # 2?? 

Prob not

Blind Date # 3
This one is set for this Friday...can we say 3rd times a charm? I'll let ya'll know if its a sham... All I know is  he is a teacher.  So he had to pass a background check for that?  Meaning my chances of getting murdered have significantly lowered....I'll keep you posted, and If I end up chopped into little bits...my readers can tell the cops for me.


What I've learned so far:
1. Dating sucks....
2. Just stop looking (easier said then done)
3. Leave the guy you really want alone...no one likes a stalker
4. Just drink
5. Pray
6. Aliens will always freak me out, unless they are the Toy Story ones
7. Don't add them on Facebook and if you do-- DELETE-- your unbecoming shots...like the one above...currently still on my FB....oh fiddle sticks....

Well happy hunting
I have the worst humor ever, but this is hilarious 


CHEERS!




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